Values and conflicts - Part I

Excerpts from the lecture series by Swami Pratyagbodhananda from Arsha Vidya Gurukulam on "Values and Conflicts", compiled by my friend.

Paraphrasing Swamiji...

Every human has a perception of their own self. For a rare (and I should say lucky!) few, that perception of oneself is acceptable to themselves. While for the vast majority their own perception of themselves is usually unacceptable most of the time and only acceptable "now and then". This "now and then" acceptable moments come when we feel completely satisfied with something and do not require anything else at that moment to be more happier (perhaps when one enjoys any sensory pleasures or, even subtler, when one watches one's kids achieve something).

If we observe a copper vessel that is oxidized lost all over and lost its color except for one little spot which still retains the purity copper, we immediately recognize that vessel as made of copper. As soon as we remove the oxidized dullness, copper shines through. As we discussed earlier, EVERY human has a feeling of completeness (i.e., being acceptable as we are and not wanting anything else) "now and then" which, similar to the pure spot on a copper vessel, indicates that such a state of complete acceptance of oneself and being at peace within onself might be the real state of us only if we remove the dullness of other feelings of unacceptance.

Many people might advise you to "forget about it". But those same people may not realize nor practice "forgetting about it" since forgetting is just not possible. Forgetting out of volition is not possible as an action that is remembered and in the memory has to be removed. Instead of attempting to "forget about it", one may find it easier to bring about a cognitive change in oneself to free oneself from the past or memories. Moksha (meaning liberation/release) is not possible unless one has released oneself from the past.

Why should we suppress all the emotions (anger, sorrow, worry, happiness). Sometimes when something sad happens, our mind is sad is a fact but concluding that I am sad is erroneous. Similarly, the mind may go through all the emotions but concluding that I am going through is erroneous. (For ex, Amitabh Bachhan may play the role of a beggar and perform very well. What would happen if he begs even after the shooting. He would have to realize that Amitabh is not a beggar but the beggar is Amitabh similarly when our mind goes through sorrow it would be erroneous to conclude that we are sorrowful). We should consider that all the emotions are given to us to enjoy just as a stage actor enjoys playing different roles on the stage. Mind is Awareness and Awareness is not Mind.

Many good individuals can have problems in relationships. In isolation they are good individuals but in a relationship they can be otherwise. The reason is very simple; the mind is usually reacting in a relationship and not learning. The whole point of the Gita is to help us to get a "learning mind". Self knowledge is parA vidya - paramAtaka vidyA sA parA vidyA. If the mind is in a state of "learning mind" all the time, it can even learn parA vidyA.

Knowledge is the most fundamental attribute one must have. Having wealth without knowledge is useless (anarthAya kalpate). Rama and Krishna are examples of highly knowledgeable, and therefore, highly sophisticated people. Rama's actions are a bit easier to understand but Krishna's avatara is even more sophisticated and it takes a highly knowledgeable person to understand His actions.

One should be a yuktaha - a mature person. A yuktaha gauges any situation and does what is supposed to be done in that situation (i.e., he/she does not panic or be given to an emotional response). The Gita says that Krishna bhagavan smiles when Arjuna despairs that he would not fight on the battlefield. This is a management crisis of the highest order. Bhagavan has assumed the role of a charioteer and is all set to establish Dharma and here we have Arjuna throwing away his weapons just before it starts. Bhagavan reacts in a mature fashion to that crisis by smiling and of course convincing Arjuna to fight.

We all know some values such as speak truth, don't steal etc. But then there will always be conflicts when values are without any context and made into ideals. What you have a high regard for - that is a value. Values have to be assimilated. One should always speak the truth is a value but it should be qualified and we should state that one cannot always "speak out" the truth. All we say should be true and all that is true need not be said.

In the Gita, there are a few values which we will be going over the next 3 lectures. The first one is:

amAnitvam - mAnaha tat abhAvaha tasya bhAvaha amAnitvam Demanding respect is mAnam. amAnitvam does not mean "Do not demand respect". It only means accepting whether people respect or not, rather being indifferent to whether we are respected or not.

We will go through the other qualities aDhambhitvam, ahimsa, kshAnti etc in the coming lectures ...